?????.... and so they continue... Why (I keep asking myself) is it that I keep wondering and trying to understand something I shouldn’t even bother about? If anyone (who knows me) can answer this question then please let me know. Above all I just can’t seem to easily let go of something. Strange… All I can say is that I am truly a persistent buffoon in search for answers to questions that keep me up at night. Even if a question makes absolutely no sense, I’d still want to know why it made no sense in the first place. I had a few questions about an issue discussed today which left me with even more questions in my head. Came home, got a decent explanation and now for some well earned ZZZzzzz…... I guess it is the hunt for answers that makes life interesting…. Or… is it the question ????????.....

I lie in stress,
As thoughts run by,
About a few events,
And I wonder why?

The truth to me,
Is vivid yet unclear,
What am I to believe,
Is the truth far from near?

Questions keep arising,
Never seem to stop,
Questions quite wierd,
Just like the feelings they've brought.

Advice I sought,
And Sighed profound,
Adept I must,
To things to be found.

Ponder so hard?
On something unclear,
Am I Wasting time?
Or am I fooling myself here?

I got the bike fixed and did a good amount of riding on the very first day. In addition to which I got a chance to hangout with my brother (which I hardly get a chance to). It was fun as he bought me some nice stuff and 2 XBOX games which was very nice of him. Wish I could get more opportunities to hang out with him. We went out and he even brought me a new helmet which looks amazing. It’s got a black tint on the visor, so no one can see who’s riding… hahaha… kinda like keeping it gangsta with the presidential tint fool!!!... And now what I’ve been dying to yell out to the world on top of my voice. I’ve put on a weight. Well it isn’t much and I still look the same. I went from 57 kgs to 62 kgs. I’m just 3 kgs short of getting to my ideal weight to height proportion. Thank you Jesus!! >=D

It's been a while since I blogged and it sure has been a while since I had a good time. I bumped into an old friend, Bijal who was just casually sitting and chatting with one of her friends. I joined the two of them and had an interesting conversation. Later on the conversation just happened between Bijal and me. The conversation started at about 21:30 and ended 2 hours later. Well we planned to go for “Laage Raho Munnabhai” (a Hindi movie which most of the people I know told me that it was a must see – and so I did). Now I was supposed to bump into her at 15:15 in the building lobby and I accidentally fell asleep and woke up saying “Oh *&^%, Bijal!” at 15:30. I eventually told her everything and apologized for keeping her waiting. Well as we made the walk to the movie theatre which was just a stones throw away from the building I was still dazed. But as we got to our seats I was wide awake. The movie was okay and there was some seriously crappie scenes which I had a hearty laugh at. But what I enjoyed was the fact that we both had a good time laughing together at the movies. Haven’t had fun like that with a friend recently and moreover I don’t recalling having such a good time with her either. Well after the movie was over we went to our houses and then meet each other again a little later on and conversed about each other’s lives. Another 2 hour conversation starting at 20:00 and ending at 22:00. Since the conversations couldn’t go on any longer we decided that we would probably meet up again towards the weekend and just hang out for a bit. Shoutout to my girl Bijal, I waiting patiently and count the days till we meet again.

Finally I got to see “Cars” (the movie). I LOVE IT!!! Amazing CG in the movie and the soundtrack was selected in good order. The movie has got some hilarious characters and some amazing cars. They got some amazing voice-overs for each of the cars and it really added to the character of the car. DAM if I get a chance to see it again I would and better yet if I get to see the movie YET AGAIN…. I’D STILL GO AND ENJOY IT TWICE AS MUCH. I’ve already got the soundtrack of the movie. If you didn’t like the movie then I guess you aren’t auto-sexual like me.

Half Life 2 is by far the most, scariest game I have ever played in my life. Sheeezzhh… I’ve got God know how many startles and spooks in this game. Over all I would rate this as an “Amazing game”.

Hahahaha... i've finally done it. I've got my XBOX fixed and totally juiced. Ah!! i can now rest easy for all my efforts have paid off and those sleepless nights are finally over. i've already got some of the best titles like Half Life 2, Need For Speed Underground 2, GTA San Andreas & Splinter Cell Chaos Theory. I wonder whatelse i can pick up for the BOX???

As the rain falls I only sit and stare into a season that fills my heart with gloom. The rains always bring back so many painful memories. Like even now it still fills my mind with more pain. My sweet and dear XBOX kinda got screwed up and now she refused to power up. No more gaming for me!! I’m hurt and very disturbed but I don’t feel the pain of loosing it. Probably because now it’s just made me pull myself together and figure out a way to fix it up and get it functional. I will not loose to fate now as I have determined that I am the only one who can over come this unforeseen contingency. And I will. Needless to say that every time it rains these memories will surely come back… to haunt me. Or would they?

Shit I’ve just been having too much fun to actually get time to sit and post. I’ve got a little break and so I’ve decided to do so. Where to start… I’ll start with 18th June 2006’s amazing party at the Hyatt. It was Leena aunty and Prashant uncle’s 25th Wedding Anniversary. It was mind blowing with a superb performance from Sunil Pal (YES THEE SUNIL PAL FROM THE GREAT INDIAN LAGUHTER SHOW) he did some amazing stuff. There were other performers like Aasma and two Indian Idols (think they were Amit Sahana and some Prajakta chick) – I’m anti Hindi so I can’t recall their names. Vilas and Aneesha put together a great party. Congratulations guys!!! Vilas, Aneesha, Shashank, Neha and me worked on an amazing slide show (which Vilas made all of – the others just took credit. LOL). Well that was Sunday but I’ve just mentioned 5% of what happened that day. Monday and Tuesday saw a lot of Grand Turismo 4 (GT4 on the PS2). DAM that game is AWESOME!!! It’s actually got a 24hour endurance mode (where one actually races for 24 hours STRAIGHT) Vilas and me are practicing to so one such event. If that’s too much for us then we’ll probably try a 1000 miles endurance event (where one actually races for 1000 Miles STRAIGHT). In addition to all that there’s cricket and non stop fun every moment. Aahhh… the Good Life...

What a way to begin the week. 11th of June 2006 Sabina and Rohan threw their anniversary party which was really funnie. Got a chance to hang out with the Bosses (Chandramukhi and Vrindha) along with Kalpi, Sunila, Jyoti, Rupali, Nitin’s mom and some other female member from the gym. It was hilarious as I heard all the different types of stories they had to tell. Then there was yesterday. An amazing cricket match at Vilas’ place along with Vilas, Shashank, Ramu, Mahadev, Ajay (driver) and a watchman that they call Lagaan. They call him that for a very good reason too. He actually rotates both his arms when he bowls. Overall it was a fun match with lots of laughs and crazie balls being bowled by your truly (ME). I actually figured out how to bowl properly and happened to take 2 wickets. Surprising!! I actually couldn’t bowl at all but somehow I learnt.

Oh yes. I never knew that my words could come and bite me back in the ASS!! lol >=D... YES, I've stopped being in touch with a lot of people for no reason. I am sorry. This is by far the most harshest step i took towards you guys (just a select few not all, Craig you ain't here on the list ma brudha). I mean it wasn't your fault at all and i just vanished without saying GOODBYE. You have my most sincere apology... HONESTLY. Thank you for all the memories you guys gave me. Don't ever feel like i do not miss you. I DO (if you can believe a liar). If you can find it in your heart to forgive then please do.

There's gonna be a movie called CARS!!! Whoohooo... i'm so gonna watch this. i don't care if it is a flop or a hit. i'm going for it...

In all Good, there is Evil and in all Evil there is Good. Simple, yet complicated... Mixted emotions run through me. Don't know but for some strange reason i feel like there's a lot of EVIL growing inside. And on another side i've been working up to drive "FEAR" out of my system. For now i think i'll just focusing on FEARING GOD and no one else. Now that's friking strange. Maybe i'm not getting enough sleep... Speaking of GOD, i got an experience of what God Of War for the PS2 is like... Oooof!!! It's AMAZING. Amazing graphics & a totally amazing story line. Haven't got a chance to socialize yet since i still have to work till the end of the month. Got a few little personal objectives to achieve in my spare time. Some of which would involve things like Getting back to a few old friends, finding out what happened to my P.F. in the previous company, reading up on networking, figuring out how to hook up my XBOX to my PC to capture some quality shots of Burnout Takedown & Burnout Revenge (Thanks Vilas), focus on the last 6months of my computer class (after that i'll be done for good, hey that's 5months more as i've started going regularly *remembered someone who laughed at this statement*) oh yes... last but not least... GAME ALOT ON THE PS2 AND THE XBOX BABY!!! >=D

Taunts!!! WOW… I love indirect messages as they convey whatever you feel about a person. TAUNTS can make you laugh and TAUNTS can really hurt you. I’ve got hurt by taunts but I’ve realized something…. IF IT HURT’S… GROW STRONGER!!! Sticks and stones may break my bones but WORDS SHALL NEVER HARM THEM. I wonder how else you are gonna break me down? (Ooops… did I just taunted at someone?) Anyways… what you sow you reap… one more thing that some people (the stupid variety) do is that they tend to be very judgmental to everyone around them just because of a few other peoples mistakes. Quite unfair but I guess they are just too stupid to realize it themselves. Anyway I’ve got other things to think about like the good times that are gonna roll my way soon…

Freedom!!! I've put in my papers at my current pencil pushing job and am now pursuing my computer course seriously. It's down to the last 6 months and i intend to finish that in the stipulated period, NO MORE DELAYS!!!... i bumped into another good friend Craig a week back. Saw "V for Vendetta" which is an AWESOME movie. i especially liked this one track from the movie sung by Julie London - Cry Me A River (Genre : Easy Listening or Blues i ain't too sure) my listening to it right now. Sounds more like Blues. Another good friend Vilas is coming down from Boston for the summer. Gonna bump into him soon as well. Bumping into Sabina, Rupali and Jyoti (who is never there at Synerge) is quite relaxing after a long hard days work. Also caught up with Raj, Manoj Ochani and Ashwin Kalmane from the past. Got a new path in mind, will post more as i make the walk... >=D

I’ve been suppressing a lot of emotions of recently. Like yesterday I met up with Sabina (a good friend) and just poured out a little bit of what was on my heart and mind. I haven’t done that in a very long time. Used to share that with friends, most of who aren’t around anymore, so I keep it to myself and hardly share my deepest thoughts with anyone. So now I’m just going to suck it all up and move the fuck on with my life. No time for emotions now anymore.

Been downloading and listening to ALOTTA new music and i've really got into Corinne Bailey Rae. Amazing voice backed with beautiful music. Yesterday after almost an eternity i hooked up with my XBOX. GOD i never realised how much fun the box can still be. Life's gotten a little tiresome off recently. Works draining my entire social life. I met up with a friend yesterday and it felt so good going for a ride and just chatting up with her. Infact the only place i ride the bike to these days is just work, classes and home. Played a little stupid april fool gag on her. Infact she is the one who shares one thing common with me. She loves animals!! Her mum's also sweet and polite. Today i found out that another friend of mine became a father. Congratulations Mason and wife!! Bless you guys...

I hate it sometimes when I hear songs that just remind me about the past. A past that had such sweet lovely memories of the times you've shared with love ones. I'm talking about my college days. I just got my hands on the OST of You've Got Mail. One of my favourite movies. Infact I wanted to go for this movie with the one who stole my heart, in a theatre out here but then again this is India and no theatre out here must have screened this movie, so it didn't happen. Some songs in this movie only remind me about her. Everytime I hear those songs I just kinda get thrown back in time and just reminisces for a while. And when the song ends it back to my lonesome reality. I really like the songs but it's just filled with so much of meaning and painful memories that it really makes it hard for me to like them. Kind of like sweet poison... Kinda like love... >=(

We all have to make the walk through life. The road ahead is long and lonesome. Some have some one to walk along side with, whilst other’s (like myself who is still single) make the walk alone. There are some friends who I’ve left behind while some have taken another road. Sometimes I wonder which road I’m supposed to take… Aahhh!!! The crossroads of life!!!

Am i putting people through phases? i try my best to be with you and give you my all. but when i ain't near you don't be depressed, cause there's another person who needs me as much as you do. please understand. i still want to be by your side. i will come to you. Just don't shut the door when i come knocking... >=|