Now this post is gonna hurt a few people so read at your own risk.
I went looking for the meaning of friendship today. I stumbled on this one site and it had this line about friendship on it. "A friend is someone who we turn to when our spirits need a lift." Not that i wanna boast about myself, but i know i definitely fit that postion of a friend with respect to this statement today, Earlier i know that i didn't fit this description. What bother's me now is how many of my "so called true and geniune friends" have fit that description (Once again this message goes out to only a few of my so called true and geniune friends). I sit to recall what i've done for them and what they have done for me. I don't wanna be judging them nor am i saying that they haven't done anything for me, but i can clearly say that comparatively, they ain't doing shit. Maybe i'm the one giving them all the fucking importance that they've got so fucking used to it that now they've just assumed that i'll be their fucking doormat to wipe their fucking shit on. So is this what their friendship with me is all about. Man i miss my friends that i had in college. Especially Russell. He was the closest friend i had. Yes had, because i know i hardly did my part in being a good friend to him, and now he's gone. Shit if i could only make him realise how sorry i am for the way i treated his friendship. I guess i won't be given that opportunity. Coming back to my friends, huh what to say to you guys. I just hope y'all realise how you guys aren't there when i need you guys to be there. I can't even recall the last time my friends came up to me and asked me," Denver tell me something about what's happening with you?" Well maybe they have but then as i start talkin about it the topic just diverts and it falls down to what they wanna talk about. Man fuck it i don't wanna be thinkin about it... All i can do is say nothing to them cause when i try to put my point across to them, they'll probably say why don't you understand my point of view Denver... like fuck i never do... >=( Life is living hell right now... Like Love... Friendship with a few friends (and not all) is like SWEET POISON.