Hmm… what am I thinking about right now? I ponder over a sequence of events that have occurred today and wonder about whether I may have done the right thing? Or may have not done the right thing? Quite frankly I am lost. Today when I sit to think of my personality I wonder who I am. Everyone changes based on their surroundings or situation in order to survive. Some even try to adapt. We exist today because of our primal instinct of change and adaptation.

Change = an event that occurs when something passes from one state or phase to another
Adapt = conform oneself to new or different conditions

Does that mean change results in adaptation? Or is adaptation kind of like a reflex to change? Or is change actually adaptation? Honestly, I don’t know whether I am supposed to change or adapt given a situation. There are times where it demands that I change and there are times where it demands that I adapt. Just trying to figure out what needs to be done gets me all confused. I don’t even know if I am making sense right now. I feel like I don’t know who I really am anymore. When I ask people who I am to them I get… you are a nice guy, very sweet, understanding, caring, loving, comforting, jovial, fun, easy going, charming etc. (btw these are the terms that I have heard more than I can count so I am not boasting) But those same people say that I can be difficult, very bad, not understanding, mean, stubborn, etc (yes these too are the terms that I have heard a couple of times but they are countable. However these I have heard the least… still not boasting). So what do I do given the later half of the situation? (the bad part of being difficult and all that jazz) Do I change or adapt? If I change, I result into someone I am not. If I adapt then again I am resulting into someone I am not. Either ways I am going to evolve into someone I am not, but yet I sit to think about whether I am supposed to change or adapt. They say change is good and they say that change isn’t good as well (this being with reference to the person that you are). When confronted on that statement they re-arrange the sentence by adding a new line saying that A little change is good and too much of a change is bad. So how much is a little and how much is too much, that is what I would like to know. Why does life get so confusing at times I wonder? It is fun they say, that’s how one should live their life… by having fun. Agreed! One must enjoy themselves in their journey through life. But at the same time not everything is all fun and games. Hmmm… today has been a very stressful day indeed. The only time I actually felt elevated from my troubles is when I looked into the dark midnight sky and saw the stars. Anyways I am sleepy and I’m going to sleep and try not to think about this… at least for now.