Yeah it’s that time again when sorrow fills my heart and the pain is unbearable =( I don’t quite understand things and I wonder if I ever will. Now I’ve been battling this for a very long time and I thought, as time went by I’d get stronger, alas that isn’t the case. I seriously can’t understand what’s hurting inside, and I wonder whether I deserve this punishment? Maybe I’m just paranoid about things. My life, my future… but then again I’m on the right course and I’m getting places that I had never gone before. I am happy with where I am but then again am I happy? There’s an absence I feel. What am I looking for? Maybe I want something more? Or maybe I’ve got way too much to handle at the moment? Yeah I can say that I’m a little overwhelmed with issues and a few people around me. I find it a little funny when I think about it, because something that happened shouldn’t matter in the present, isn’t it? It’s strange how the past resurfaces. Sometimes it brings back happiness or sorrow or both together or one followed by the other. Each of them have their own value when reminiscing. Some prefer to remember the good times and move on whereas some prefer to remember the bad times so that they don’t make the same mistakes again. When I think of the past I don’t know on which side I’m supposed to be on. Cause to me they both appear to be the same. Or do they? I mean I can think about the good times and / or the bad times and be happy / sad about it at the same time. Maybe that’s the issue. I’m unable to analyze things properly or maybe I’m having an issue choosing. I live a simple life and wonder how things get so complicated in an instant? Maybe I’m still immature and have a lot to learn? But then again I can understand things equally well; it’s just swallowing the truth and practicality that I’m having an issue with. I know I can be practical and handle the truth… or am I just fooling myself?