I just got back from my best friends “after marriage” dinner. I apparently reach there pretty late but still made it for dinner. The worst part is that I kinda put in alotta tonic into my system. Yes I am depressed because this past week has been nothing short of brutal, painful and harsh in every aspect possible, but that isn’t the reason as to why I did what I did. It’s quite hilarious when I think about it. I have had 4 glasses of rum, 1 bottle of beer and 4 glasses of Bacardi and I can still hold my own. Yes I am buzzed (who wouldn’t be) after my toxic episode but then again all my thoughts still keep me awake at this hour in the night =( God there is so much inside that’s hurting so firkin bad and I wonder when things will get better. When will I find my smile again =( suffered existence here I come…