As the rain falls I only sit and stare into a season that fills my heart with gloom. The rains always bring back so many painful memories. Like even now it still fills my mind with more pain. My sweet and dear XBOX kinda got screwed up and now she refused to power up. No more gaming for me!! I’m hurt and very disturbed but I don’t feel the pain of loosing it. Probably because now it’s just made me pull myself together and figure out a way to fix it up and get it functional. I will not loose to fate now as I have determined that I am the only one who can over come this unforeseen contingency. And I will. Needless to say that every time it rains these memories will surely come back… to haunt me. Or would they?

Shit I’ve just been having too much fun to actually get time to sit and post. I’ve got a little break and so I’ve decided to do so. Where to start… I’ll start with 18th June 2006’s amazing party at the Hyatt. It was Leena aunty and Prashant uncle’s 25th Wedding Anniversary. It was mind blowing with a superb performance from Sunil Pal (YES THEE SUNIL PAL FROM THE GREAT INDIAN LAGUHTER SHOW) he did some amazing stuff. There were other performers like Aasma and two Indian Idols (think they were Amit Sahana and some Prajakta chick) – I’m anti Hindi so I can’t recall their names. Vilas and Aneesha put together a great party. Congratulations guys!!! Vilas, Aneesha, Shashank, Neha and me worked on an amazing slide show (which Vilas made all of – the others just took credit. LOL). Well that was Sunday but I’ve just mentioned 5% of what happened that day. Monday and Tuesday saw a lot of Grand Turismo 4 (GT4 on the PS2). DAM that game is AWESOME!!! It’s actually got a 24hour endurance mode (where one actually races for 24 hours STRAIGHT) Vilas and me are practicing to so one such event. If that’s too much for us then we’ll probably try a 1000 miles endurance event (where one actually races for 1000 Miles STRAIGHT). In addition to all that there’s cricket and non stop fun every moment. Aahhh… the Good Life...

What a way to begin the week. 11th of June 2006 Sabina and Rohan threw their anniversary party which was really funnie. Got a chance to hang out with the Bosses (Chandramukhi and Vrindha) along with Kalpi, Sunila, Jyoti, Rupali, Nitin’s mom and some other female member from the gym. It was hilarious as I heard all the different types of stories they had to tell. Then there was yesterday. An amazing cricket match at Vilas’ place along with Vilas, Shashank, Ramu, Mahadev, Ajay (driver) and a watchman that they call Lagaan. They call him that for a very good reason too. He actually rotates both his arms when he bowls. Overall it was a fun match with lots of laughs and crazie balls being bowled by your truly (ME). I actually figured out how to bowl properly and happened to take 2 wickets. Surprising!! I actually couldn’t bowl at all but somehow I learnt.

Oh yes. I never knew that my words could come and bite me back in the ASS!! lol >=D... YES, I've stopped being in touch with a lot of people for no reason. I am sorry. This is by far the most harshest step i took towards you guys (just a select few not all, Craig you ain't here on the list ma brudha). I mean it wasn't your fault at all and i just vanished without saying GOODBYE. You have my most sincere apology... HONESTLY. Thank you for all the memories you guys gave me. Don't ever feel like i do not miss you. I DO (if you can believe a liar). If you can find it in your heart to forgive then please do.

There's gonna be a movie called CARS!!! Whoohooo... i'm so gonna watch this. i don't care if it is a flop or a hit. i'm going for it...

In all Good, there is Evil and in all Evil there is Good. Simple, yet complicated... Mixted emotions run through me. Don't know but for some strange reason i feel like there's a lot of EVIL growing inside. And on another side i've been working up to drive "FEAR" out of my system. For now i think i'll just focusing on FEARING GOD and no one else. Now that's friking strange. Maybe i'm not getting enough sleep... Speaking of GOD, i got an experience of what God Of War for the PS2 is like... Oooof!!! It's AMAZING. Amazing graphics & a totally amazing story line. Haven't got a chance to socialize yet since i still have to work till the end of the month. Got a few little personal objectives to achieve in my spare time. Some of which would involve things like Getting back to a few old friends, finding out what happened to my P.F. in the previous company, reading up on networking, figuring out how to hook up my XBOX to my PC to capture some quality shots of Burnout Takedown & Burnout Revenge (Thanks Vilas), focus on the last 6months of my computer class (after that i'll be done for good, hey that's 5months more as i've started going regularly *remembered someone who laughed at this statement*) oh yes... last but not least... GAME ALOT ON THE PS2 AND THE XBOX BABY!!! >=D

Taunts!!! WOW… I love indirect messages as they convey whatever you feel about a person. TAUNTS can make you laugh and TAUNTS can really hurt you. I’ve got hurt by taunts but I’ve realized something…. IF IT HURT’S… GROW STRONGER!!! Sticks and stones may break my bones but WORDS SHALL NEVER HARM THEM. I wonder how else you are gonna break me down? (Ooops… did I just taunted at someone?) Anyways… what you sow you reap… one more thing that some people (the stupid variety) do is that they tend to be very judgmental to everyone around them just because of a few other peoples mistakes. Quite unfair but I guess they are just too stupid to realize it themselves. Anyway I’ve got other things to think about like the good times that are gonna roll my way soon…

Freedom!!! I've put in my papers at my current pencil pushing job and am now pursuing my computer course seriously. It's down to the last 6 months and i intend to finish that in the stipulated period, NO MORE DELAYS!!!... i bumped into another good friend Craig a week back. Saw "V for Vendetta" which is an AWESOME movie. i especially liked this one track from the movie sung by Julie London - Cry Me A River (Genre : Easy Listening or Blues i ain't too sure) my listening to it right now. Sounds more like Blues. Another good friend Vilas is coming down from Boston for the summer. Gonna bump into him soon as well. Bumping into Sabina, Rupali and Jyoti (who is never there at Synerge) is quite relaxing after a long hard days work. Also caught up with Raj, Manoj Ochani and Ashwin Kalmane from the past. Got a new path in mind, will post more as i make the walk... >=D

I’ve been suppressing a lot of emotions of recently. Like yesterday I met up with Sabina (a good friend) and just poured out a little bit of what was on my heart and mind. I haven’t done that in a very long time. Used to share that with friends, most of who aren’t around anymore, so I keep it to myself and hardly share my deepest thoughts with anyone. So now I’m just going to suck it all up and move the fuck on with my life. No time for emotions now anymore.

Been downloading and listening to ALOTTA new music and i've really got into Corinne Bailey Rae. Amazing voice backed with beautiful music. Yesterday after almost an eternity i hooked up with my XBOX. GOD i never realised how much fun the box can still be. Life's gotten a little tiresome off recently. Works draining my entire social life. I met up with a friend yesterday and it felt so good going for a ride and just chatting up with her. Infact the only place i ride the bike to these days is just work, classes and home. Played a little stupid april fool gag on her. Infact she is the one who shares one thing common with me. She loves animals!! Her mum's also sweet and polite. Today i found out that another friend of mine became a father. Congratulations Mason and wife!! Bless you guys...

I hate it sometimes when I hear songs that just remind me about the past. A past that had such sweet lovely memories of the times you've shared with love ones. I'm talking about my college days. I just got my hands on the OST of You've Got Mail. One of my favourite movies. Infact I wanted to go for this movie with the one who stole my heart, in a theatre out here but then again this is India and no theatre out here must have screened this movie, so it didn't happen. Some songs in this movie only remind me about her. Everytime I hear those songs I just kinda get thrown back in time and just reminisces for a while. And when the song ends it back to my lonesome reality. I really like the songs but it's just filled with so much of meaning and painful memories that it really makes it hard for me to like them. Kind of like sweet poison... Kinda like love... >=(

We all have to make the walk through life. The road ahead is long and lonesome. Some have some one to walk along side with, whilst other’s (like myself who is still single) make the walk alone. There are some friends who I’ve left behind while some have taken another road. Sometimes I wonder which road I’m supposed to take… Aahhh!!! The crossroads of life!!!

Am i putting people through phases? i try my best to be with you and give you my all. but when i ain't near you don't be depressed, cause there's another person who needs me as much as you do. please understand. i still want to be by your side. i will come to you. Just don't shut the door when i come knocking... >=|

Lay down my head,
Burdened with thoughts,
Trying to find solutions,
To fights that were fought.

Mistakes were made,
On both sides that's true,
But hurt me for what,
Just cause i stand by you?

Why the fuck am i emotional,
I hate that in me,
Wish i was stone hearted,
Then let's see you hurt me.

I try not to hurt,
And i hardly get angry,
Why take advantage,
And of all, why me?

I want you for comfort,
I want you to hold,
I want you with me,
Cause my world is so cold.

Don't have a family,
Thought i'd come to you,
You've got issues of your own,
Where do i turn too.

Be by my side,
In every step in life,
Huh! Heard the same shit,
From someone i called wife.

I'm sorry to everyone who reads this... but i needed to vent out somewhere. Just had to get this off my chest and mind. I'm glad you are with me... my blog...

Heck i make one small little mistake and everyone's making it a very big deal. wtf maaan... small request to all who read this... if i make a mistake please put yourself in my place and tell me if you like being yelled at? ok so you can't put your thoughts into words... nobody can... not even me at times... but yet when i need to get my point across i can do it without causing pain? please understand .. please be gentle... i hurt easy... >=(

Somethings are Strange... I'm Just One Of Them... why am i saying this again... cause we celebrated a friends birthday... at a POLICE STATION!!! >=) Happie Birfday Ketan...

Mature pictures... not for the faint hearted

Today is a very luck and not so lucky day for me. I met with my very first accident today. It happened at 09:15. I was hit by a Green Santro driven by a Mr. Vilas Shirsekar (Liscense plate number MH04AW7792) Our boy happens to make a left turn into the building by driving out completely to the center of the road. He doesn’t indicate and claims that I was going really fast. Fact was that he was in the middle of the road, didn’t indicate when turning and then says it was my fault. Ya rite riding at the speed of 35Kmph and falling 15 feet away from his car while the bike skid and landed about 30 feet away from me!! Anyways I’m feeling bad that my best formal wear got torn and my brother’s bike got damaged. >=( .. I’m ok… got a few bruses but nothing major. Realized something today that I need to enjoy life to it’s fullest.. I was lucky this time that nothing serious happened to me (like what happened to another good friend of mine). I just want other’s to realize that life’s too short and I want to make them realize that each of them are special to me, before my time is over. To all I’ve shared a relationship with. I appreciate your presence in my life and I just want to tell each of you that I am happy that I got a chance to know you… as a grandson…. as a brother…. as a lover… as a son… as a friend… Glad I got to know you….

It sure has been a long time since I’ve posted and yes it sure has been a long time since I made a new friend. I’m not going to reveal her name (security issues… hahahaha… that’s too convenient). We don’t get to spend a lot of time together but for that moment when we converse, it’s special. I’m not even going to fill the blog with more details about her. I’ll just refer to her as that special friend. On the other side of life, things are ok. My last weekend was very bad. Got caught by the cops since not all of the bike papers were in order. Two of my superiors had to come help me out. It’s was humiliating (cause the cops were actually having a good time listening to me speak in Hindi) and even more humiliating because there was inconvenience caused to two of my superiors. Pretty screwed weekend. But it’s over now. Next weekend has an interesting line of events that are yet to occur. Can’t wait for next weekend. I had mentioned in the past that the only reason I blog is cause I don’t have anyone to talk too. Well of recently I’ve been sharing a lot of things with snowflake. She’s been there when times get hard for me. I’m happy I have a few friends still here with me. Thank God for friends. Me Happie!!!

Now i can post my blog at anytime i want... cause i tog eht tenretni ta emoh... GO FIGURE!!! >=)