I’ve been contemplating about a few events that have occurred in my life ever since the New Years swung around. Quite frankly I do not know what to write at this point in time. I wanted to blog last night but for some odd reason, (which I am unable to recall at this moment) I did not. Considering my emotional state at this time, I feel quite lonely and drained of power to progress ahead mentally. There are a few things on my mind that I want to discuss and talk about, but, much to my dismay, I am unable to find the right person to approach. I had gone for a friend’s reception yesterday. Saw the couple finally take the plunge and lock themselves down to a life of commitment towards each other after 6 years of a serious relationship. Relationship – well to me it means a bond between two or more individuals. What kinds of relationships do exist? I’ve come across so many relationships in my life and yet some relations are so hard to define while some are very easy. I share relationships that I find very difficult to understand and wonder what it’s all about after all. Clarity in my life is of utmost importance. Clarity is what helps me understand things better and I am able to reciprocate, through my actions and words, appropriately. A friend once said that the definition of any relationship can never actually be pinned or chalked out; it’s dynamic and never static. Come to think about it, it’s true. A relationship grows and matures over time. The bond strengthens or weakens depending on the amount of efforts made and put into the relationship. This is where my dilemma surfaces. I am not a person who has difficulty understanding the relationships I share with people; it’s just that there are times I need a little bit of clarification to understand my intent of the relationship shared. I think about a few of my friends and miss them a lot. Unfortunately, my rage has over-powered my emotions resulting into me completely shutting them out of my life. {Note for clarification: the people who I still converse with are the ones exempted =)} When I sit to ponder over these people all I can think about is how dependent I am when it comes to them. Everybody needs somebody in their life, some relation other than the one you share with yourself and family (that, is one relationship that I haven’t given any importance – the relationship with myself that is, family? – that’s a completely different subject which I choose not to discuss, simply because it doesn’t exist for me - yet). I wish Russell, Craig or Vilas were here to talk too. So need these guys back to talk to. There is a pain that fathoms deep within my soul and keeps hurting me, eventually resulting in tears or sleepless nights (not that I have erupted but feel like it’s on the brink of eruption). But you’ll never see me shed them tears… that’s me!!!