I thought I was strong, but alas I got slapped with reality all too soon as my cheeks were paved with my emotions. I tried so hard to control myself but failed. How did I fail? How did I fall? I hate this… it’s just too painful to see me fall. Need to pickup and take off soon or else I’ll be there for a while. Can’t remember the last time I broke down like this. Thought it would never happen again. I don’t feel completely broken though, because I had comfort with me through my trying hour. Came from the most unlikely place. Came in its truest sense. Came and calmed my troubled soul. In that embrace there was so much of joy yet for every ounce of joy I received there was an equal amount of sorrow that followed. I don’t even know what broke me down in the first place. Was it the truth? Was it just reality? Was it both? For the first time in my life I felt pain and joy together at the same place. I can’t describe it, nor explain it. But pushing aside the sorrow, I can surely say that what I felt was bliss in all it’s glory. An experience never to be forgotten.

On the flip side, I feel my thinkig has matured in a few ways. Have been looking at things in a different light, a new POV one may say. Perception of a situation in different lights is quite interesting in a way. Gives me a better outlook of how I can alter my thoughts. I’ve been too rigid with things and situations. I feel like branching out and exploring my various characteristics as a person. Going to focus on new directions, new possibilities, new opportunities, new situations, new emotions, new feelings and new challenges. I will venture out into the unknown, not because I want to overcome my fear but because I want to know and learn something new. Yes I may stumble and fall but picking up from where I left off is a challenge. Yes I may not understand what I’ll be getting myself into, but nevertheless I am ready to take on whatever comes my way. You never know what awaits you on the other side if you don’t go there to find out. I never knew how good it felt to earn my own money, I got a job and found out – it felt really good. I never knew what it felt like to be yelled at, when I goofed up, I confessed and I got what I deserved – I felt really bad. I never understood the whole relationship angle, got into 3 relationships and found out so many things – I felt joy, sorrow, peace and most of all LOVE. Life is teaching me all this and so much more. I’ve been rigid in not opening and embracing these lessons and experiences. I’ve realized that now and so welcome it. Yes life may hurt me as well, but life also teaches me how to take care of myself.