Instead of attain equilibrium I’ve managed to attain delirium at this point in my life. I’ve become so delirious that I am unable to keep a stable head on my shoulder. Just got barraged with so many ordeals in my life that I actually am quite lost. I’ve been starring at not only the big picture but at all the pictures that can be put up onto that BIG WALL. While everyone’s looking at Big Pictures, I have been looking at the BIG WALL. There’s so much I want to achieve in my life and there’s so much I need to do NOW. Friends tell me that it’s ok, you still have time. Time??? There’s never enough TIME. I’ve already wasted so much of my TIME on pondering over senseless and baseless situations and events. All I can do now is to improvise on the situation I’ve got myself into currently. I’ve been giving due consideration to a lot of stuff with respect to my career and job. Well for starters I’m glad that I’ve got an income to sustain my level of existence, but this again is only a momentary thing. Eventually the income I draw today isn’t going to suffice for tomorrow’s needs (screw the wants). Bottom line is I need to start. Guess I’ve already started. What next? That’s where my dilemma arises.

These thoughts above were exactly what ran through my brains for an entire day, which apparently didn’t seem like it was going to end. I then kinda just head out for some fresh air to clear my head of these thoughts before I lost all control of sanity. Not that I am going to let go of these thoughts at all, I just needed a break. Sometimes I truly tax myself to the core. I resent putting myself through these kind of phases but nevertheless if I don’t then I tend to loose focus of my prime objectives – that being INDEPENDENT and a SUCCESSFUL PROVIDER (in all aspects).