Lay down my head,
Burdened with thoughts,
Trying to find solutions,
To fights that were fought.

Mistakes were made,
On both sides that's true,
But hurt me for what,
Just cause i stand by you?

Why the fuck am i emotional,
I hate that in me,
Wish i was stone hearted,
Then let's see you hurt me.

I try not to hurt,
And i hardly get angry,
Why take advantage,
And of all, why me?

I want you for comfort,
I want you to hold,
I want you with me,
Cause my world is so cold.

Don't have a family,
Thought i'd come to you,
You've got issues of your own,
Where do i turn too.

Be by my side,
In every step in life,
Huh! Heard the same shit,
From someone i called wife.

I'm sorry to everyone who reads this... but i needed to vent out somewhere. Just had to get this off my chest and mind. I'm glad you are with me... my blog...

Heck i make one small little mistake and everyone's making it a very big deal. wtf maaan... small request to all who read this... if i make a mistake please put yourself in my place and tell me if you like being yelled at? ok so you can't put your thoughts into words... nobody can... not even me at times... but yet when i need to get my point across i can do it without causing pain? please understand .. please be gentle... i hurt easy... >=(

Somethings are Strange... I'm Just One Of Them... why am i saying this again... cause we celebrated a friends birthday... at a POLICE STATION!!! >=) Happie Birfday Ketan...

Mature pictures... not for the faint hearted

Today is a very luck and not so lucky day for me. I met with my very first accident today. It happened at 09:15. I was hit by a Green Santro driven by a Mr. Vilas Shirsekar (Liscense plate number MH04AW7792) Our boy happens to make a left turn into the building by driving out completely to the center of the road. He doesn’t indicate and claims that I was going really fast. Fact was that he was in the middle of the road, didn’t indicate when turning and then says it was my fault. Ya rite riding at the speed of 35Kmph and falling 15 feet away from his car while the bike skid and landed about 30 feet away from me!! Anyways I’m feeling bad that my best formal wear got torn and my brother’s bike got damaged. >=( .. I’m ok… got a few bruses but nothing major. Realized something today that I need to enjoy life to it’s fullest.. I was lucky this time that nothing serious happened to me (like what happened to another good friend of mine). I just want other’s to realize that life’s too short and I want to make them realize that each of them are special to me, before my time is over. To all I’ve shared a relationship with. I appreciate your presence in my life and I just want to tell each of you that I am happy that I got a chance to know you… as a grandson…. as a brother…. as a lover… as a son… as a friend… Glad I got to know you….

It sure has been a long time since I’ve posted and yes it sure has been a long time since I made a new friend. I’m not going to reveal her name (security issues… hahahaha… that’s too convenient). We don’t get to spend a lot of time together but for that moment when we converse, it’s special. I’m not even going to fill the blog with more details about her. I’ll just refer to her as that special friend. On the other side of life, things are ok. My last weekend was very bad. Got caught by the cops since not all of the bike papers were in order. Two of my superiors had to come help me out. It’s was humiliating (cause the cops were actually having a good time listening to me speak in Hindi) and even more humiliating because there was inconvenience caused to two of my superiors. Pretty screwed weekend. But it’s over now. Next weekend has an interesting line of events that are yet to occur. Can’t wait for next weekend. I had mentioned in the past that the only reason I blog is cause I don’t have anyone to talk too. Well of recently I’ve been sharing a lot of things with snowflake. She’s been there when times get hard for me. I’m happy I have a few friends still here with me. Thank God for friends. Me Happie!!!

Now i can post my blog at anytime i want... cause i tog eht tenretni ta emoh... GO FIGURE!!! >=)

So i've hit full time work and have really created a good impression over here at work. The user's like the work i do and i'm cool with everyone. just don't get that much time to share things on the blog anymore.

MY MOST HECTIC DAY EVER…SO FAR!!!

My sequence of events since the 28th of September 2005.
09:00 – Wake up and play Unreal Tournament on the computer (CTF).
14:00 – Reach work and work???
19:00 – Go to meet my new family member Snowflake.
20:00 – Still with Snowflake
21:00 – Sharing emotions with Snowflake
22:00 – Putting Snowflake to sleep ( I actually sang a song and put her to sleep)
23:00 – Leave Snowflake with her BOYfriend and play NFSUG on the CBZ
23:30 – Reach Bandra with cold chills running all over.
00:00 – Start working on some data and the computer.
01:00 – Still working on the computer
02:30 – Still working on the computer
03:00 – Take a 5 mins break
03:05 – Resume working on the computer
04:00 – Take a 10mins break both me and the computer
04:10 – Resume working on the computer
06:25 – Finish working with the data and the computer.
06:30 – Leave for Kandivali on the CBZ (NFSUG PartII)
07:15 – Reach Kandivali and meet brother.
07:30 – Leave with brother from Kandivali to meet up with Snowflake for tea.
07:50 – Reach Delton at Jogeshwari Highway where he took a rick to work
08:00 – Meetup with snowflake and her BOYfriend.
08:30 – Snowflake wakes up and gets ready to go to work
09:00 – BOYfriend gets up and get ready to leave
09:05 – Having tea with them two
09:10 – Leave for Bandra with Snowflake
09:45 – Reach snowflake at work and come home assuming to sleep.
09:50 – Give data to Mustu.
09:55 – Have to come up with a huge amount.
10:15 – Arranged for part of the huge amount but the other part’s at Kandivali
10:30 – Leave for Kandivali to get the other amount.
11:15 – Get caught by cops for not wearing a helmet.
11:30 – Another cop pulls me over for not wearing a helmet. (JINKS!!)
12:00 – Reach and obtain the remaining amount.
12:15 – Meet and speak with Deepti. No answers for her actions of standing me up.
12:16 – FUCK IT!!!
12:20 – Leave the girl alone.
12:45 – Eat food.
13:10 – Leave for work
14:30 – Reach work and sitting here posting.

Prediction for the rest of the day:

18:00 – Leave work and go home and wait for Snowflake to call up
19:00 – Snowflake calls says would appreciate if company could be with her to Kandivali
19:15 – Meet her and take her to Kandivali
20:30 – Reach Kandivali with Snowflake
21:30 or later – Get her back home and probably dine with her
22:30 – Leave for home
23:15 – Show get some sleep

All i want is a little peace and love!! Is that too much i ask of you??? >=| cause you know that i've given you love in abundance even when you don't ask...

Now i usually don't drink and choose not too... but just for kicks i kinda pushed myself to the limit. Kinda of like to see how well i can control myself... it's something i'm not proud off but it's a learning experience... i'm about 56kilos (God know when that's gonna increase) and i stand 5 feet 10.5 inches tall. How the heck i managed to stand and control myself with 1/2 a litre of RUM (NEAT) is something i still can't understand... guess there is a GOD after all who cares for me. Uuhhh!!!... hence forth given the option to choose between staying sane or going insane i'll choose to be SANE. Sorry Shweta that's why i couldn't come to meet you in the afternoon today... >=(

For the past 3 years on this very same day your thoughts cross my mind and your absence is felt the strongest... How can a feeling be so deep? How can a love be so strong? How can you still cloud my mind sometimes? How come i can't let go off you completely? How come you aren't by my side... my Mushie Bear??? >=(

I like the new personality i've put on... it's just feels great!!! i met up with an old college sweetie and she also added to the joy saying that i was an honest thinker and acted honestly, AND that i haven't changed in appearence ever since college ended... either she was telling the truth or the statement "Guys are just that easy to bluff" is SO TRUE!! Either ways i felt nice when i spoke to her. It's great recalling the college days... i had gone to fix a clients computer the other day and the lady gave me my remuneration, along with some chocolates... Hmmm... guess i haven't aged since college after all.. so she wasn't lying!!!A=B, B=C Hence A=C .... lol!!! >=D

Not that i want something bad to happen to me, but ever since the beginning of this month, i've turned over a new leaf. I've become a more joyful person to be around and i've become much more stupid and funnie than i ever was. I know finally realise that it gives me much more joy if i make the others around me happy and that's the way i want it to be... just hope it lasts... >=|

The last 3 days there was nothing but a series of bad incidents, which rocked Mumbai. Here is my part of the story.

26th July 2005 – I come to work at 13:30 and it’s starting to rain outside. I come into work and start the daily routine. At about 15:30 the office declares a holiday because of heavy rains outside. I didn’t think that it was that heavy and said it was pointless leaving right now and resumed working till about 16:30. At that time the lights in the entire building went out. I went up stairs to find out what went wrong and then saw that the whole of Santacruz had lost electricity. Since there was nothing better to do I decided to finally leave for home. Another work mate accompanied me till Khar after that I was on my own. As I left work it was only then that I saw the water level for myself. I stand 5’10” and the water level was till my chest. It was pouring heavily and there were cars that were completely submerged in water. I had never seen anything like this before in my life. It took me a good 1.5 hours to reach home safely. Whilst on my way home I stopped to check on my friend and found out that she was a little ill and still at work. I reached home and when I was approaching to my place I got a little paranoid about the water doing damage to my building. When I got home I saw that the water levels were just ankle high. I thanked God that nothing severe happened out there. We had to electricity for a good 17hours from the time I reached home. I called up a few friends to find out how things were at their places. A good friends house and shop were flooded pretty bad. The house survived but the shop got screwed. Well I went to sleep that night without any electricity. The next day I rose without a decent nights sleep and met up with a friend… I called some more friends up to find out how things were but just got bad news… My close friends friend passed away because she drowned… her name was Minal and I knew here. She was a very sweet person and it was shocking when I heard that she passed away… I never knew that the rains could be so bad… Today after 3 days things are simmering down but the death toll is pretty high… here are some of the stats I managed to pickup from the news.

This was the highest amount of rainfall Mumbai had ever received. Approx. 37inches of rain.

The death toll caused by the rains stand at 452. The PM had offered relief of 1 lakh to the dead peoples families and 50,000 to the physically disabled.

Major landslides at Saki Naka.

Due to rumors of a dam bursting and a tsunami approaching claimed the lives of 18 people caused by a stampede.

In conclusion I would like to put up a prayer for Minal.

“Eternal rest give unto her, Oh Lord, Let the perpetual light shine upon her. May her soul rest in peace. Amen.” – Even though you are away your memories will be with us always. We will miss you Minal…. >=(

More results... Congratulations to both of y'all... >=)

Please answer... are these pictures REAL or 3D??? You'd be surprised... >=)

It's really hard for me at work... things get a little too hectic these days... i mean i'm striving hard to achieve my targets but i guess i'm not tryin hard enough.... i need to finish the entire game in under 20mins or less... that's my objective... i will succeed!!!

If you thought babies were cute... Think again... Look at this baby... Anu you have to send me more pics...

Now this friend lives all the way in Delhi and she knows me so well??? WOW!! Life's just full of surprises... >=D ... by putting up results i'm not tryin to discriminate anyone in anyway, i love each of you guys (both near and FAR) and each one of y'all have a special place in my heart. let this quiz be a reflection in how well you guys have understood me...

I love the test thingie i made... it's so much fun... hehehehe >=D


Think you can score better than them... well then prove it CAUSE TALK IS CHEAP... >=)
http://www.bebo.com/quiz/2036883a292987030b89

I made myself a little quiz to see how well people know me... the results will tell you who knows me better than the other... still have to see who knows me cent percent... actually there could be a person cause the quiz is a little too easy for y'all... wait for the next one guys...

i so badly wanted to go for Batman Begins.... >=(

Yesterday was fun… I met up with an old friend Deepti. She is seriously a work of art. The only thing that draws me towards her is that she is never serious. I learnt something from her yesterday. I learnt that I’m too serious and I need to chill out in life. Thanks Deepti for the lesson. Today Manoj Ochani called up and I just had to mention it cause I’ve never mentioned his name on my blog. Here you go Manoj now it’s official… Take care and be well all…

I LOVE RAP MUSIC... why... then read the Chorus of the song below which i have taken a liking too... It's sung by Obie Trice and the song's name is Adrenaline Rush (OST : 8 Mile) They say ONCE YOU GO BLACK YOU NEVER GO BACK...

Get live motherfucker when I speak motherfucker,
Out your seat motherfucker, I'ma reach motherfuckers,
Shady Records 'til I sleep, motherfucker, Obie Trice nuttin' but street muthatfucka,
Tear this bitch up until you bleed motherfucker,
I wouldn't give a fuck who you be, motherfucker,
Punk, pussy, bitch or G, motherfucker, Adrenaline rush before you leave motherfucker.

I’m tired… I’m feeling low… the weather’s changed and so has my attitude towards life and people. I think I’ve opened my eyes to a painful reality, which I cannot digest. I miss my friends… I’m just at that point in life where I sit blank and ponder over nothing… >= I need a friend right now to talk too, but am unable to find one… How firkin strange is that??? Is this what friends are for??? I’m not talking about all my friends, I’m just talking about the ungrateful ones!!!

I LOVE INDIA!!! But I hate Indian men, especially when they are educated and act uneducated. I took the bus today to go to work. At the stop there was a very beautiful looking college girl who took the same bus as I did. Now don’t get me wrong, but she really looked beautiful in the pure sense. She had a very beautiful face and her hair was even more gorgeous. She sat in the seat in front of me. About 2 seats ahead and on the opposite side of her seat, was a man who just looked back at her and stared at her continuously for a good 3kms!! (That's how far i go to work form home.) Kinda like having impure thoughts about her in his head… That was so fucking disgusting. And to make it all worse, he had that “BEAT ME UP” sign written all over his face, which i seriously wanted to follow after all one must follow signs on the road >=D Dis-fucking-gusting!!! I’ve noticed that in most Indian men. Some of them have loyal committed wives who’d probably do everything for them, but they just don’t seem to understand. The men always want something more… something more like SEX!!! And once that’s obtained then it’s time for SOME MORE SEX!!! Now most traditional Indian women aren’t open to a subject like that because of their culture, but the men feel that the women are, probably cause of the fuck-all Hindi movies that portray the Indian women like sex toys to play around with. I mean if the Indian man would only wait for the right time then I guess things would come naturally. But men are impatient and want things now. Guys shouldn’t think with their fucking dick-heads all the time. I remember tha ti almost made this same mistake once and i regret till today >=( When will things change around here I really don’t know. I think the concept of modernization is taking a completely new turn in evolution here in India, which shouldn’t be happening.

And finally after a 9 month gap I commence classes once again. This time I’ll be regualar… I hope!! Lol >=D

I can't understand how love works??? It's really mind boggling... it grips you when you least expected and then when it ends, you are left wondering how the heck did that happen?? I happened to stumble on some pictures of her (THE last ONE in my life) today before i could head out to work. For some reason i wish i could see her and talk to her!! Now that's frikin strange. I've seen these pictures before and i never felt this way. Oh life, how much more will you torment my soul... trying to get over her was hard enough now why refresh memories again >=( ..... MY XBOX, WHY AREN'T YOU BY MY SIDE??? >=(

I'm the one who hardly get's surprises on my walk through life. But last Sunday was shocking... My very first girl Swidel called up and spoke to me after more than 5 years of silence... i seriously didn't know how to react. She called up to apologise for the way she treated me. Said that she was sorry and asked for forgiveness... I WAS SHOCKED!!! After more than 5 years you realise that what you've done it wrong and seek forgiveness??? I believe that "WHEN THE MOMENT'S GONE, THE ESSENCE IS LOST!!!"... anyways i just said forget the past and move on. I just thanked her for the memories and told her that we were young and shit happened, it's part a of life that everyone must go through. The conversation lasted only 5mins and then that was it. i guess she just wanted to clear her conscience and probably move on or something... Good for her. Surprisingly when she called up i missed the one who i truly gave my heart too... >=( ... my last relationship (which btw is over almost as long as it lasted) was the best and by far the longest and sweetest relationship i've ever had. Yeah sure it had it's up's and down's but that's just how the cookie crumbles... Love is such a motherfucker!!! Just when you think you're over it, it makes you realise that you are wrong BIATCH!!! >=D

It’s been a while since I’ve posted, probably because I’ve just been feeling a little down ever since I’ve found out that my best friends dog passed away on the 8^th of May 2005. He was a sweetheart and a very loveable dog. His name was Snoopie and everyone who knew him will miss his presence. I made a little sonnet in memory of Snoopie and sent it to my friend’s mother on her cell phone.

My deepest sympathy to you all I give,
For a sweetheart like Snoopie no longer sniffs,
Love him so much just like y’all do,
His absence now makes, me shed tears too.

WE LOVE YOU SNOOPIE, YOU WILL ALWAYS BE IN OUR HEARTS AND WE WILL MISS YOU!!! >=(

I carry a smile on my face right now because I just got an increased pay package… Whoo Hoo!! It’s not much but it’s just enough to get me some basic necessities in life. Like probably a new hard drive, or a graphics card, or another XBOX game, or another MMC for my Nokia N-Gage QD, or a remote control car (Man I so wanted that badly when I was a kid), or (thinking and dreaming dreams that will be a reality eventually)… sometimes I wonder whether I’m growing up… Eh!! I don’t give a #@$%… I’m just living to be happy for the moment...

I was having a conversation online with a very dear and almost, long lost friend. Just want I wanted to relax myself after a long and hectic day and the conversation with her was just what the Doctor ordered. During our conversation I kinda got a little too wrapped up with my feeling that it just blew out of me (“the feeling” for all you frikin perverts…). Guys I know y’all will probably assume that I’m a woman, and probably burst out laughing when you’ve finished reading the next few lines. I’m surprised as to what happened to me all of a sudden

Shed not a tear oh fair one, for if you cry then let me cry with you, so that our tears may form a river on which our friendship would set a sail...

Aaaaahhh… I hate myself!!!! >=)

Life can seriously teach you a lot. I have had way too many incidents in my life that have resulted in me becoming a completely different person. Yes Evolution Exists!!! Anyways enough of that… I made the mistake of going for a fuckin, chewteayeah, laudu, gandu, bhosadika, khunt fuckin CHAKA movie called KAAL… Trust me, like most Hindi movies, this one was so fuckin dirty that I actually felt like having a bath… twice in the same hour. After the movie got some of us friends just hung out and had fun. As always I did my part of being the live wire amongst the crowd. It was fun for me and that’s how I intend to keep things from now on. I have a new saying that I live up to these days. GIVE ONLY HOW MUCH YOU CAN GET BACK. Fuck all of you asses who don’t give but like to receive… bitches!!

Nooo Daniol saan, you must not make fun of the art of Fung-Ku...

Feels great to get outta the house after being under HOUSE ARREST for a full week. I played a neat April fool gag on my friends but it backfired and bit me in the ass... so much for me having the last laugh. I'm feeling a little happy today to hear that the efforts put in, have yielded superb results. I had taught a friends sister and helped her with her exams, and she cleared all her papers today. Hearing that was so satisfying. I've helped her before with her exams and on all attempts she pulled through. Good for her!!!

Arey wah bhai waah... my subjects are responding to the comments thingie (just when i was about to pop my lid and remove the posts thingie... hehehehe)... i love you guys... you make me happie... speaking of happie i kinda enjoyed myself last night (no you frikin perverts, don't get them stupid ideas in your heads). Went and saw this AWESOME movie called BE COOL... what a cast, what a frikin superb cast of people in that movie. Hilarious and entertaining at the same time. Uma Thurman was too beautiful (in the strict and pure sense of beauty which most people tend to ignore when a set of breast appear in front of them). The woman’s got the most beautiful smile. Now why did THE ROCK (from WWE) have to be a fag in that movie is something i fail to understand but he played his part well. Infact the whole cast played their roles well. Wanna watch the movie again. Warm wishes and misses to all of you guys who read this post.

An educational post here... Especially to people of the illerate kind. Fuck emailing me, you guys can't even post a frikin silly hi in the comments. Every comment on the dam page reads as ZERO. Surprisingly only one female posted and she wasn't even a friend???... Madar Chods... i've just been realising new things as days go by about the so called good and dear friends i have as of now, just some of them not all of them. Fuck it i'm in too good a mood to waste my time and energy typing about them now. I went to Pune this weekend and it was a wonderful trip. Had alot of quality time to myself and that was just what was needed. (I WISH YOU WERE THERE VILAS' OLD BUDDIE) Arey the new place it a frikin MANSION. Your parents have done a superb/spectacular/JAW-DROPPING job on the mansion. Can't wait to go back there again. Vilas' dad has put an awesome music system in the hall. Whilst there the only comic relief i had was with Vilas' Sister, his two doggies Snoopie and Truffle, and Harsha (who lives in Pune, got a chance to speak to her over the phone and had a hilarious and sweet conversation with her). Pune is too relaxing. 1 hour in Pune felt like 3 hours. Man i'm so gonna go back there again in May... >=)

I think Hotmail's lost their mangoes maan!!... when i signed into my hotmail account today at about 17:45, i checked the storage capacity and it showed 250MB.... >=O i was shocked and was momentarily excited with the extra space they gave. But i thought it was too good to be true. I signed out and signed back in only to get disappointed, as the storage capacity was still at 2MB... on the brighter side of life GMAIL's offering about 2067MB the last time i checked... WELL GUESS WHAT !!!... if you go to this site you'll be surprised with what they have to offer now... check it out y'all

gmail.google.com

Cuz life can just get that fucked up sometimes.... >=(

In Loneliness I seek,
A Friend I can't find,
Who'd hold my hand,
And say things would be fine.

Just messaging to say,
I wish you were here,
For in Loneliness I seek,
And I wish you were near.

(Surprisingly after i sent this message to my friends, i got a ton of messages back. The message just went out to one special lost friend. For kicks i forwarded it to a few others. Not that i didn't need their friendship, but it was an eye opener for me. (i've been feeling a little neglected these days... waaahhhh!!! =( ... but i don't care now.) Thanks to Sabina who actually called me up at about 00:00 and asked me whether i was ok... she's a sweetheart sometimes. Others like Ahsrah, Imhsar, Ateem, Inar and Anpaws really put a smile on my face. I LOVE YOU GUYS!!)

I wonder if anyone comes here and reads my blog? Somehow this place is the only way i can put my point across to some people. Ahhh FUCK IT!! Well i went around reading other blogs and i came across this one that had a link to another site. Its a little quiz to give you a little insight about yourself. This is what the quiz did to me:

You are lightskyblue
Your dominant hues are cyan and blue. You like people and enjoy making friends. You're conservative and like to make sure things make sense before you step into them, especially in relationships. You are curious but respected for your opinions by people who you sometimes wouldn't even suspect.

Your saturation level is lower than average - You don't stress out over things and don't understand people who do. Finishing projects may sometimes be a challenge, but you schedule time as you see fit and the important things all happen in the end, even if not everyone sees your grand master plan.

Your outlook on life is bright. You see good things in situations where others may not be able to, and it frustrates you to see them get down on everything.

Now.... WHAT DA FUCK IS SATURATION??? >=|

Now this post is gonna hurt a few people so read at your own risk.
I went looking for the meaning of friendship today. I stumbled on this one site and it had this line about friendship on it. "A friend is someone who we turn to when our spirits need a lift." Not that i wanna boast about myself, but i know i definitely fit that postion of a friend with respect to this statement today, Earlier i know that i didn't fit this description. What bother's me now is how many of my "so called true and geniune friends" have fit that description (Once again this message goes out to only a few of my so called true and geniune friends). I sit to recall what i've done for them and what they have done for me. I don't wanna be judging them nor am i saying that they haven't done anything for me, but i can clearly say that comparatively, they ain't doing shit. Maybe i'm the one giving them all the fucking importance that they've got so fucking used to it that now they've just assumed that i'll be their fucking doormat to wipe their fucking shit on. So is this what their friendship with me is all about. Man i miss my friends that i had in college. Especially Russell. He was the closest friend i had. Yes had, because i know i hardly did my part in being a good friend to him, and now he's gone. Shit if i could only make him realise how sorry i am for the way i treated his friendship. I guess i won't be given that opportunity. Coming back to my friends, huh what to say to you guys. I just hope y'all realise how you guys aren't there when i need you guys to be there. I can't even recall the last time my friends came up to me and asked me," Denver tell me something about what's happening with you?" Well maybe they have but then as i start talkin about it the topic just diverts and it falls down to what they wanna talk about. Man fuck it i don't wanna be thinkin about it... All i can do is say nothing to them cause when i try to put my point across to them, they'll probably say why don't you understand my point of view Denver... like fuck i never do... >=( Life is living hell right now... Like Love... Friendship with a few friends (and not all) is like SWEET POISON.

Holi's around the corner and apparently our country's government has banned water balloons. Wonder what we are gonna use now... anyways it don't bother me cause i'm gonna be soaking people with buckets of water tomorrow. Watch out for the Denver, Fool!! >= (Ok the only reason i am unable to put down my thoughts right now is because i'm at a friends place and i'm listenin to HINDI F*&^$%G Music - See Shweta i'm controlling my language!!) So far i've abused about 5 times in the past day... what an accomplishment.!!! >=)

Yeah there’s no doubt that the Nokia N-Gage QD is one of those must have devices. It’s total T.P. I’ve already got Worms World Party and The Sims Bustin Out. Pretty neat games (especially Worms World Party, the sound them worms make is hilarious) and I’m surprised with the graphics that little thing can render. (singing) And I think to myself, what a wonderful world (singing) Oh Joy!!! >=) My QD is pretty much loaded, got the antivirus software in, the ogg player, video player, videos, pictures, file explorer, games, hmmm… I wonder what else??? Have I missed out on anything yet??? (And so I commence thinking about what to do next…)

Ah the Nokia N-Gage QD is the best thing that has happened to me this birthday. Infact i metup with a lotta old friends and enjoyed myself in the evening this 13th of March 2005. Thanks to all of you guys who didn't realise that it was my birthday, i still love ya... >=) so what if you forgot, no issues, there's always next year. Shoutouts : To Sabina and Jyoti and a very big Thank You for making me look like a fuckin fag on my birthday (apparently they got me something i hate the most... FLOWERS!! YELLOW FUCKING FLOWERS!!! But i still love you guys... and held the YELLOW FUCKING FLOWERS with Pride). And the biggest word of Thanks goes out to ma hommie Craig. Thanks to KB,Shweta,Kiran,Mayank,Rajeshree, Devesh (and his sisters) and Payal for the shirt and the little cake surprise on the DAY AFTER MY BIRTHDAY!!! Overall it was fun. Another year gone, another year of painful and happy memories gone... >=|

She has come into my life. I LOVE HER!! Her name : Nokia N-GageQD (with a 128MB Memory Card and i've also got myself a USB Bluetooth Dongle for my computer so that i can transfer stuff to and from the PC.) This birthday indeed is going to be a happy one... >=)

I know I haven’t been posting up for a while now. That’s because I’ve planned something big for myself this birthday. I just hope that it works and goes according to my plans. I’m so anxious about her. Can’t wait for her to come into my life. I guess my life will be complete with her by my side. I seriously dream about her each and everyday these past few weeks, that’s what, is occupying my attention. Infact I’ve already gotten too attached and too in love with her. The only thing that fears me is if she isn’t going to be mine. But I’ll make sure that it doesn’t happen. I will make her my own… wanna know her name. Check this site again next month… cuz that’s when you will find out what’s been in my head and my heart all this while... Better yet... WHO HAS BEEN FILLING UP MY SENSES WITH JOY.... >=)

I LOVE MY PETS...


This is my Peggie


This is my Sniffer

Have you ever given your age a serious thought? One actually fails to realise that time is slipping by. Yesterday I had a revelation when I said that I’m just 22 years old… that statement fell like an H-Bomb. I know that it’s still a pretty young age I am at, but am I actually pretty young? Least of all… PRETTY??? In both cases, I don’t think so. I feel young but it’s the mind that’s getting old… man now I’ve got to start thinking about the future and settling down and shit… can’t be… I think I just need to calm down and chill for a while… I’m gonna konk off at the age of 60 so 60-22 give me about 38 years… WOW that is a long time… Whew! I just scared myself for nothing… nothing’s changed here… just age… >=)

The road can be a very dangerous place to walk on if a woman is behind the wheel… check this incident out. I almost got knocked by a crazie ass woman driver today on my walk to work in the morning. In addition to that, as I was about to cross an intersection I saw another woman driver racing at me. I stopped and allowed her to pass before I made it to the other side of the road. As she passed by she gave me a warm smile (either because she thought of me as a gentlemen or she must have said to herself, “You got lucky bucko! The next guy won’t be so luckie.”) As she passed by and zoomed away (probably to kill someone else) I smiled and said to myself thank God I’m still alive… (My thoughts were still the same… no two ways about it…) >=)

It's a fact. Most women tend to walk diagonally on the road. If y'all can't walk straight don't think that driving is going to be easy. I mean fuck if it wasn't for the footpath i stood on, then i'd surely be a goner today...

This sure has been a very long week. I’ve got so involved with work that its actually helped me forget a few painful past incidents (well not completely but comparatively there has been a change). I went up to the terrace for lunch (that’s where the employees go for their meals) and as I sat there it was very peaceful with no one around. For the first time I was actually at peace since the beginning of this year. No frikin tensions of any sort. I didn’t actually let them resurface. I like being alone these days… I have no reason for choosing to be alone. The terrace nowadays seems like the perfect place where I can go and relax, you know kinda chill out for a while, just get away from all the pain, suffering and shit. Come to think about it for the amount of pain and crap I went through from the beginning of this year, I would probably be living on that terrace… >=

…And so begins my struggle to get what I want at this point in my life. My prime focus is getting that sweet active subwoofer home before my birthday comes (my gift to myself). I’ve already planned out all the expenses and incomes, and done some major cost cuttings. I already feel a great sense of pride in what I do these days. I sit and think about what I have purchased out of my own hard earned money. Let’s see… upgrade the computer, bought a HDD, a CDRW, tons of blank CD’s, TV Tuner Card, Disc Man, Mini boom box, re-coned a pair of ancient 30WRMS speakers, MY SWEET XBOX (which is still at Vilas’ place). Soon I’ll be adding a 140WRMS amplifier and a 150WRMS active subwoofer… I can truly say that I am proud of what I have achieved. Oh I can’t wait for that day to arrive when I come home with the sub. It surely would bring me a great deal of satisfaction. But in order to get that I have to struggle and so begins my struggle to get…. (Read from the beginning of this post… >=)

Note to self... You are not an insomniac... >=)

Oh by the way check out this awesome car my buddie Vilas is working on... picture this on the streets y'all...

02:30 in the morning and my eyelids are starting to get heavy. The struggle to stay awake now as I sit in front of my computer screen at work is not a grave one, since I’ve tuned into hot108 jams on the Internet. I ponder as to why am I doing something like this. Guess I just enjoy doing unexpected things. (Please excuse this post since its fatigue and a whole lotta emotions getting the best of me right now). Just finished typing in about 112 sheets of songs into an Excel Sheet (each sheet containing at least 5 songs while others went up to 50 amounting to about 800+ songs). My fingers are sore and so is my ass… >=( … Got to make it till at least 04:30am so that I can call my superior who blessed me with this task and tell him that the work is completed. He told me that he wanted the job done before tomorrow morning. Tis truly a dogs life I live. The only moment of relief in the past 2 days came from Harsha (shoutout to Harsha - thanks for the conversation, that was just what I needed to get my mind of things…) Life can seriously get one so fucked up in the head sometimes. I’m turning over a new leaf as this month begins. Gonna give my work all the attention as possible and dream at night of my sweet active subwoofer. “Baby you will be mine for sure…”

15 mins left before the next day can start. Been at work from 14:00 to 23:45 at this point. Did a lotta work with a lot of shit running in the back of my head. Somehow I’ve tried to segregate the two from mixing but hey pobody’s nerfect… hehehehe… I like being alone these days, I finally realize the amount of time I can devote to things I like to do. I’ve read up on how to buy the appropriate active sub-woofer (which I intend to gift myself this birthday as I turn 23 years old). Infact I’m planning to get rid of my old AIWA NSX-KT9 system (which apparently claims to deliver 185w/ch x 2 of bass and 40w/ch x 2 of high and mid frequency, amounting to a total of 225WRMS of music power… which by far is fuckin bullcrap, motherfuckers at AIWA know shit). I revived my father’s old pair of music speakers. Borrowed a SONY amp (140WRMS), hooked them up and got a decent effect. Now I intend to by a 150WRMS Active Subwoofer and a brand new amplifier. Later on I’ll get me some more speakers and then eventually I will be responsible for my 120-year-old build to fall down… hmm… let’s see how it goes…

All good things come to an end. All them sweetdays of travellin on my brothers bike are going to end today. Now it's back to public transportation... oh the suffering and misery begins... It really does help having a two wheeler... one saves so much of time, and in today's world every second counts. One more good thing about goin back to public transportation is i'll have to start planning about how i intend to get to my destination on time. One thing is for sure, this loss is gonna help me find myself and my strength again. Off recently i've become too dependent on others, it's time to become INDEPENDENT AGAIN BITCH!!!... >=)

It's been ages since i've posted. I hate this thing all humans have. It's called Emotions. Some of us are just too emotional. Some of us find it very hard to control our emotions. Some of us give others a chance to get the best out of us. I wish i wasn't a part of those SOME OF US. I realise one thing... if you are emotional then you are gonna get your ass FUCKED big time. My New Years Resolution is ... KILL THEM EMOTIONS.