Botheß not my sweet,
foß eveßytime i get close,
my mind attains peace,
hence, tis you that i chose.

I hug you so tight,
and you wondeß why i do so,
being honest with you hun,
you, i'd neveß let go.

Just the thought of loosing you,
gives me a scaße,
this soul will be lonely,
if you weße not theße.

And afteß so long,
i found something so tßue,
i'm oveßwhelmed with joy,
to find myself in you.

Last but not least,
i can count on heß to be theße,
spell out the capitals,
and you have my veßsion that spells caße.

I’ve been contemplating about a few events that have occurred in my life ever since the New Years swung around. Quite frankly I do not know what to write at this point in time. I wanted to blog last night but for some odd reason, (which I am unable to recall at this moment) I did not. Considering my emotional state at this time, I feel quite lonely and drained of power to progress ahead mentally. There are a few things on my mind that I want to discuss and talk about, but, much to my dismay, I am unable to find the right person to approach. I had gone for a friend’s reception yesterday. Saw the couple finally take the plunge and lock themselves down to a life of commitment towards each other after 6 years of a serious relationship. Relationship – well to me it means a bond between two or more individuals. What kinds of relationships do exist? I’ve come across so many relationships in my life and yet some relations are so hard to define while some are very easy. I share relationships that I find very difficult to understand and wonder what it’s all about after all. Clarity in my life is of utmost importance. Clarity is what helps me understand things better and I am able to reciprocate, through my actions and words, appropriately. A friend once said that the definition of any relationship can never actually be pinned or chalked out; it’s dynamic and never static. Come to think about it, it’s true. A relationship grows and matures over time. The bond strengthens or weakens depending on the amount of efforts made and put into the relationship. This is where my dilemma surfaces. I am not a person who has difficulty understanding the relationships I share with people; it’s just that there are times I need a little bit of clarification to understand my intent of the relationship shared. I think about a few of my friends and miss them a lot. Unfortunately, my rage has over-powered my emotions resulting into me completely shutting them out of my life. {Note for clarification: the people who I still converse with are the ones exempted =)} When I sit to ponder over these people all I can think about is how dependent I am when it comes to them. Everybody needs somebody in their life, some relation other than the one you share with yourself and family (that, is one relationship that I haven’t given any importance – the relationship with myself that is, family? – that’s a completely different subject which I choose not to discuss, simply because it doesn’t exist for me - yet). I wish Russell, Craig or Vilas were here to talk too. So need these guys back to talk to. There is a pain that fathoms deep within my soul and keeps hurting me, eventually resulting in tears or sleepless nights (not that I have erupted but feel like it’s on the brink of eruption). But you’ll never see me shed them tears… that’s me!!!

What am i doing? Why am i doing what i do?... >=(

2006 ended, and the beginning of 2007 was one of the best New Years ever. I've never felt so nice and happy in quite a long time and it was all because of the person you see in this picture. Rice I ____ YOU!!! Happy New Year.

There are so many questions that I wanted to be answered in the past, but they were not answered. Later on in life they get answered and you say, well you got the answer to your question, are you not happy now? I ask you, why now and not then? What is the point in having an ice-cream that has already melted? Why am I getting these questions in my head now? I mean all this while nothing bothered me. But now everything is surfacing to me all at once. In all honesty I have become weak emotionally. Tears come to me in an instant. I feel like I have entered into a depression zone. I hate this place. The one who wiped my tears apparently has gone adrift. If you say that you need to pick yourself up and make the walk alone. Well then fuck you and your view. It’s easier said than done, if you put yourself in my shoes. Be a little more sensitive to other people’s feelings.

Now I have no firkin clue as to why I had these lines in my head last night???